summmaaaahhhteim

I don't have internet at my house anymore and it's hot as ballz all the time now. I like after those first initial hot weeks of summer people get sick of their summer frocks at put on there pants again. my body gave a me a little reality check after kevin's 21st, it got sick. i feel better today, just a little congested. 

i know lana doesn't try to judge me, but we have such different mentalities right now when it comes to relationships and lifestyle choices I know she can't help feel a little more mature. It's true though, I'm kicking it pretty hard these days. I just feel very blessed and free these days. when i was with zack i felt so trapped. now i think it's time for me to stop reveling in the change my life has made and simply try to live good. In a way, make more mature choices like go easy on the booze and try to be productive this summer.

I really hope something comes from this etsy shop idea. i'm still a little sketched out by it, online communities just sound so ghey. i'm sure if i look at it more it won't seem as dumb. 

every season has things to offer me. for summer it has its long warm nights and lack of responsibility. therefore i should take advantage of it. sometimes i get afraid i like having fun too much. like being too promiscuous or getting tattered every night. i guess i have to trust myself not to overindulge. a real job would help add some level of responsibility but god do i hate jobs. i just wanna be my own boss, that's why i hope this etsy thing works.