While coming down, I kind of decided I should stop drinking. That decision makes so much sense in terms of what I want to achieve with my life, but god how hard does it sound. I think I'm just going to stop drinking to get drunk for a while. Which, in order to be successful, means probably not drinking at all for a while.
All of my problems revolve around alcohol I realized. I do it all in order to have a good time. If I took that energy and focused it on other ways to have fun, I could get so much more done. I don't want to say I will never drink again because life is too long to think such things. Basically, I want to take myself more seriously.
I'm sorry for being mean to zack and sleeping with so many guys, i owe it all to drinking. every time I've gotten severely mad at my friends it's because they were drunk and i wasn't and I found them too irritating.
I realized last night all the messages I was sending myself, trying to guide me along to the right decisions and choices. It was a big fucking epiphany. the whole night, the time frame, the series of events made it all finally click. i know what i have to do know, it's all a matter of putting it into action.
i think it comes to a point for everyone when they finally stop ignoring their dreams. my new goal while doing this is to keep an upbeat, light attitude. i'm going to start taking myself and my life very fucking seriously, that doesn't mean though i can't dance and joke with my friends, and learn about new silly ways to spend my time enjoying life.
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