I've been having a pretty good staycation. I've gotten stupid drunk, hung out with my friends and got fresh sneakers with my dad!

I miss mimi waaaaah. 

Do I make mistakes sometimes? I don't know, it's hard to tell.

Mornin.

One thing I'm getting really good at is taking a beat. You stop, take a beat, and make that negative or habitual thought go away. I'm in love with these dumb pants I got.

I also love singing 90's R&B to myself.

OH MEW GAW.

I almost got fired yesterday, I ran this car into a wall and damaged the plastic bumper a little, luckily it was a rental and the guy didn't even notice. hopefully he had full coverage for it, which i suspect since he was an older guy, and rental car companies don't care about that shit anyway. SO MAYBE I'M OKAY WE SHALL SEE.

I just don't want to find another job, I need to be more careful when I'm driving a stranger's car. Also I cannot smoke any more weed, which is fine, but the other night i got a little high and it wasn't actually bad and for a sec I thought, "Natalie Pruett? smokin weed and bein okay?" But, you know, whatever cuz it's fucking weed and this is my job.

Other than that, I hope we can all go to San Fran next week. Nothing more I would like than to go  somewhere warm and wasted. Aw.

God dammit there's a gale about outside a god damn! I just want to go places and not freeze.

Well, besides all that shit I talked about, I'm doing pretty well. I wish I could see my family more. I want to make a big painting for my room, it's too boring. wow, when i don't have anything interesting to talk about, i don't.

I feel weird. I could barely run today I got shin splints owwwiieee. Even when it's cold out though, I want to run. Those headphones of Kevin's are great, I need to get my own, and my own ipod. I wish I didn't lose that last one at the gym.

When I run or ride my bike, I don't have to worry about anything else, just the task at hand. It's very comforting. I don't necessarily have a hard or complicated life, but I think everyone needs time to pull their self out of the unfolding drama and it from time to time and just be human. It's proven it makes you more efficient in other tasks when you focus very hard on one thing. I want to try meditating but it's really hard for me. 

Oh yeah, those two papers I'm supposed to be editing/finishing, cool.

Life Goals part une.

1. Be in a professional rap video.

2. Run a marathon(szszsss)

3. Be in a magazine 

4. Act

5. Fluent in french

6. Learn multiple instruments

this really is making me sound like a want to be a famous pop star, but I just wanna be expressive.

Fuck You Too!

I know I'm not supposed to wallow in my sorrows on this blog...but sometimes I'm not a very strong girl.

The best ambiguous analogy I can think of at this hour is I built this web I'm stuck to, and I hate spiders.

I wish it wasn't 1 am and i have to work in the morning, or I'd shred the drums while listening to Boris, or I'd ride my bike through quiet nieghborhoods and blow gum bubbles, or I'd go running and runnning farther and farther away. I got to sit here feeling crummy wishing someone was thinking of me in that way.

i'm glad i'm not drinking, i can pin point exact times when i would be, it's amusing but kind of sad, hopefully i'll have more perspective when i'm done with my dry spell.
waaaaaah waaaah.